Midnights (Barnes & Noble’s Version)

Some thoughts on digital community made real

On Monday this week, I had the immense pleasure of going to my first midnight book release since the seventh Harry Potter book at Border’s in 2007. My local Barnes and Noble threw a really fun event for the release of Iron Flame, if not low budget, which makes sense. With the fleeting nature of what’s hot in fiction influenced so much by social media, I imagine it’s hard to bank on what’s actually going to be popular in 3 months. Harry Potter had ten years of sales history, including a film franchise. A big midnight release party was a no-brainer from a sales and marketing standpoint (Alas, Borders still didn’t survive, but my memories live on).

But the advent of Booktok and Bookstagram means that anyone can be book reviewer. I benefit from this democratization of the book review system, obviously, as I’m here shouting into the void through my newsletter (I also have my college minor in English, and I am a big believer in reading widely and continuing education, so hopefully the void thinks I make sense most of the time). But I also think that democratization, combined with the increase in self and indie publishing, is a double edged sword. While it puts the power to determine value in the hands of the people who consume these books, it also put those reviews at the mercy of the algorithms. And, with the level of saturation in the review market, most of what I end up seeing is my friends’ content and the guy who does the Sarah J Maas content. And then of course the super off the wall stuff like the Seattle Kraken player and his wife getting harassed.

It also means that there are so many books being recommended all the time by people with wildly different tastes. One size does not fit all, especially when it comes to romance reads. No wonder book sellers are hesitant to plan for things when the 15 minutes of fame for things really only lasts 15 minutes, and a lot of what is popular is indie or self published. It also oftentimes has content that I would describe as niche, i.e. your big trigger warning type books. I am a firm believer that people have the right to read whatever they like, but I also can see how it might make mainstream marketing and throwing a party difficult for big corporate booksellers.

But Fourth Wing has remained fairly popular, consistently selling well, and Barnes and Noble took a chance on a midnight release party for the second book Iron Flame. Before we go on, I want to applaud the staff at the Reno B&N for putting this on. They had games, trivia, and were very much enthused in dressing up in the spirit of the book. They were a huge reason why I had so much fun, and I hope there are more release parties in the future.

The other major reason I had so much fun? Getting to interact with a community of like minded and like-shelved readers. I chatted with a group of friends who had driven over an hour to be there and still had to work in the morning. My trivia team (Shout out to Team Number 4 like Fourth Wing!) was awesome, even if we didn’t win. The camaraderie amongst the folks who were capital O Obsessed and those of us (like me) who read it once and then read a bunch of other stuff so we only had major plot points down was so heartening. At no point did I feel like someone was going to flip their hair and call me a fake fan, which is not always the experience I’ve had moving in fandom spaces. Those were my favorite interactions - the ones where I didn’t feel like I was behind or enjoying things incorrectly just because I wasn’t making it my whole personality, like I might have in high school.

But I also had interactions that reminded me just how lucky I am to A: have accepting people in my life and friends who read similar books to me, and B: have the freedom to be open about my reading habits and genre preferences. I went to a writers retreat last weekend and had no qualms telling anyone that I’ve read Katee Roberts’ books, including the Deal With A Demon ones, and that my friend and I are excited to read Morning Glory Milking Farm. Granted no one at the retreat knew what any of that meant besides the literary agent who was there for a Q&A, but still. They could have looked it up if they wanted.

At the release I engaged in some shameless self promotion and in doing so got to chat with a lot of different folks who were also there for their sprayed edge first editions. I heard some really fun stories about getting a grandma to read A Court of Thorns and Roses and how the same grandma is now sharing it with her book club, telling them “Outlander just doesn’t come close!”

I also heard stories that bummed me out, about unsupportive husbands who were upset that their wives went to this event. I saw husbands who came along but did the toddler pout the whole time, and complained when they had to stand in line. I heard stories about husbands who didn’t get why their wives were into these books, or restricted what they were allowed to read or have in the house. It made me unusually grateful that I’m still single, but it also made me really sad and angry. Women are still so controlled by systemic patriarchy, whether they are aware of it or not, in big ways like literally being told by their husbands what they can and can’t read, but also in small, more manipulative ways, like the toddler pouts, or the ‘I don’t care what you read, just keep it to yourself’ attitudes that I also heard about and witnessed.

I have found myself in an unusually high number of situations this week where I felt compelled to say ‘have you considered getting a divorce? Just throwing the whole man in the trash?’ I know divorce is much more complex than that, and there are a number of reasons why women stay in abusive situations. But the dissonance for me comes from these stories immediately preceded or followed by an extolling of his positive qualities that more often than not are bare minimum things like ‘oh he doesn’t cheat on me’ or ‘oh he doesn’t hit me’ and ‘he’s great with our boys’ and then there’s always a ‘but.’ But he doesn’t let me keep the books in the house. But I’m not supposed to talk about the books I read. But he doesn’t think I’m smart because I read romances. But he doesn’t think anything I read can possibly be any good.

So maybe not every situation requires the dramatic miming of tossing a man into the dumpster head first, but I think it maybe warrants the hard reflection of what we expect in relationships and what we’re willing to accept, as well as why we accept these behaviors. A lot of it is societal, since women no longer need a man to do things like have a credit card or own a home, and because we do have the freedom to be pickier, there is also a sense of ‘oh, I found a pretty good one, I’d better hold onto him, just in case I can’t find someone better.’ That scarcity mindset I think is a huge reason behind some of these attitudes and stories I heard.

My dating history is not exactly a string of fabulous men who just didn’t work out because we wanted different things and they’re still good people. Some of them weren’t good people. But, one of the most common bonding methods I see among women is complaining about bad boyfriends and bad husbands. And it leads those of us who maybe aren’t particularly happy to say to ourselves, ‘well, I don’t have it as bad as her, my husband/boyfriend/dating life isn’t so bad. Maybe I should be glad my ex’s coworker has popped back up after 9 months to say ‘sup.’ But as we talk about fiction and the things we like about the main characters, especially the straight male ones (and we’re not talking about the dark romance guys with all the trigger warnings), I find myself wondering if those traits we admire are reflected in the men we surround ourselves with, and if not, why? Why don’t we seek out the supportive, caring men who love us for us? Why aren’t we holding men in our lives to that standard? I don’t have a catch all answer.

On a positive note - I saw Dads who were so supportive, and admitted that they didn’t know what was going on but they were happy to bring their daughters. I did see a couple partners who seemed happy to be there and were not dismissive of their significant other’s joy. And I saw lots of connection amongst attendees, validating each other and their genre preferences and favorite books. I hope those moments of validation serve to build up those who need that confidence and I hope they help them find the courage to speak their truths and work toward or even demand the respect and love they deserve in their relationships.

Next Week: We’ll probably talk about Iron Flame the book.